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The Toxic Avenger, What a Moment I Had

I was flipping through the channels and stopped on G4. I couldn’t help myself. I just had to stop and watch.
I honestly believe Joe Ritter and Lloyd Kaufman tried to write the worst movie ever made. No, I’m not saying they wrote the worst movie ever made although that is possibly true. I’m saying I think that’s what they were striving to accomplish.
But, to give credit…it could have been Michael Kerz directing with Lloyd Kaufman who actually had intentions to make the worst movie ever. I see a common factor. Lloyd Kaufman helped write and direct the movie. It must have been his dream baby.
The Toxic Avenger was absolutely hilarious. And I know that it is listed as a Comedy as well as Action and Horror. But, it’s listed as Comedy because of the corny jokes throughout the movie. The Toxic Avenger was actually hilarious because of how ridiculous it is.
This 1985 movie has everything wrong that it possibly could in a movie. Ok, the popular, cool guy is named Bozo. His friend is named Slug. They are dorks by any other standard. But they are our popular, cool guys who get the beautiful girls and go around getting away with whatever they want, even killing people. That’s right! They run them over with their car and collect points.
By the way, the fashion was nuts. I was 15 when the movie came out and I dressed fine for my age. I stayed away from certain types of styles though. I don’t know. Maybe I had enough foresight to know that someone might be taking pictures and a few years later I would be the butt of someone’s joke. Anyway, the movie was full of typical 1985 fashion.
Tennis shoes with socks that went up to just below the knee…and colored stripes at the top. Red suspenders with no shirt. Collars flipped up instead of down. There is so much more, but that gives you the idea.
Then, we have the stupidest acting. It’s like the acting coach for everyone in the movie was coaching the actors to overact everything by ten times. Every facial expression had to be amplified and “Slug” was the worst with his stupid expressions. Bozo was pretty dorky too with his stress out episodes and everyone catering to him to calm him down. I was laughing so hard, my ribs hurt. If I would have met a guy like Bozo back in 1985, he would have been the butt of every one of my jokes. He would have had something to stress about.
What happens in the movie is the “dorky” mop boy is the butt of a practical joke and it results in him being chased through the school and he jumps out of a window, landing into the chemical waste that is on the back of a truck while the truck drivers are in the cabin doing cocaine with the evidence all over their face. The chemical waste turns the mop boy into a monster who fights crime.
The thing is that the practical joke played on the mop boy included him wearing a tutu. He is wearing the tutu when he jumps out of the window and lands in the chemical waste. So, The Toxic Avenger wears a tutu all through the movie like it can’t be removed, it’s a part of his uniform.
A blind girl falls in love with him and it’s hilarious when they kiss. They have sex, yes. They cut that part from the G4 version, but it’s in the clip below.
But for me, the funniest was when they were surrounding the monster and his girlfriend’s tent at the end of the movie. The mayor was one of the bad guys so he wanted the National Guard to kill the monster. So, they brought their tanks and guns, surrounding the tent in the middle of the most obvious field in the world. What a place to run to and hide?
Ok, so I told you there was a tank and an entire Army with guns. There are actual people holding pistols. That’s funny to me. You have all that gun power and you’re going to add your sling shot.
There was so much more to crack on that movie, it’s unbelievable. Everything wrong that can be in a movie is in The Toxic Avenger. So if you want a good laugh, watch it some time.

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